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If there is one question that
is asked more than any other it is, "How do I keep spam from getting in my email inbox?" This question is more than a passing inquiry and is normally asked with a great deal of passion.
Dealing with spam costs businesses more time and money than any other "feature" of the Internet excluding playing
online games, of course.
Until recently, the spam I received in my inbox usually consisted of advertisements for Internet porn websites, but that has changed somewhat over the last year. I don't know if email advertising has evolved into a more "mainstream"
way to generate leads or not, but the offers are beginning to change. It used to be that marketers were only interested in having me join a website where I could see
people younger and better looking than me have lots of sex in more wild
situations and in stranger environments than I could or would attempt.
However I'm happy to report now that my resulting depression is lifting
and the world is getting happier because of all the new offers of help
from strangers I've been receiving lately.
I've noticed a subtle shift
taking place as more and more messages are arriving from caring individuals who
are truly concerned with my sexual well being and they are offering solutions that
promise if I just take these tiny pills or employ certain custom devices originally designed by the Marquis de Sade, my presumed inadequacies
will be remedied. I must say at many times, my heart is warmed by this outpouring of concern over my private life and just knowing someone
cares is enough to overcome the frustration of having to delete the same messages over and over and over again.
But the offers of help
haven't stopped there! Now it seems my insurance or mortgage rates are too high and there are literally hundreds
of newly concerned souls who want to improve my life even more by saving me
lots of money. I believe this proves how important I have become to an increasing number of people who simply want to help me have a better life.
I have been added to the lists of many people who are trying to make sure I have all of the "correct" information about political issues and candidates.
I'm learning the regular news media has been deficient in providing me with the whole truth and nothing but the
truth. I know things are bad because of all the people who send me
personal messages castigating the "news media" for their efforts and either explaining the "truth" the way it should
be told or explaining how the "truth" I have been told is not really the truth at all.
I guess all those people
are telling the truth because even I can see the news media is missing out on the biggest story, because based upon the messages I've been receiving, the prescription drug crisis is over in America!
I can now go online and purchase all my major prescriptions including Viagra, Percodin, Valium, and Xanax and save hundreds or even thousands of dollars! Yes, sometimes it has to be shipped from Canada, but if
I can hold off for just a few days before my next nervous breakdown or my next romantic evening with
my wife, I can save a whole bunch of money! Where have the insurance companies
been on this?
One of the biggest changes I have seen
is the huge increase in the number of computer software consulting firms out there. Everyday, I receive emails with software
attached which when installed on my computer helps it run faster, do more, and be better than I ever dreamed! The fact that
this software will also delete my operating system or use my email address book to send itself everyone I know are just undocumented features.
And the free software doesn't end there! There are now software packages designed to install themselves on my computer with no additional assistance to monitor
the websites I visit to see if there are other websites I really should visit and
then it automatically sends me there so I can keep up with what is going on everywhere at the same time. In fact, if I want to, I can now leave my computer to it's own devices and it will do all
this stuff in the background without my knowledge or influence. Come to
think of it, the work this software does must really be difficult, because now my computer is doing so much; it rarely has time for me any more. But I think that will improve some really soon,
because an email came yesterday addressed to my computer telling it how to reduce it's workload and stress, and today, my computer put in for a week's vacation to
Aruba!
But back here in the real world, I hate spam. I could come up with lots of colorful terms to describe how I
really feel about spam, but space and decorum prevent me from expressing myself to the fullest. So instead, I'll provide you with some of the best advice I think I have ever offered my readers:
Navigate your browser to www.qurb.com, download the demo of their anti-spam product and after 15 days, pay $29.99 to license your own copy. Qurb works by moving
spam coming in to your in-box from unknown sources to a separate folder where you can decide what to do with the junk in your own time. Qurb removes the clutter so you can get on with your work and automatically sends confirmation emails to people who have never emailed you before so that you don't miss out on their messages.
Quit living in a fantasy world when it comes to spam. Qurb spam instead!
Paul H. Tarver |
