or, How To Impress Your Office Colleagues AND Get Girls...

 
Words mean things and in spite of what you think people do hear what you are saying, but if you are a computer geek, they will usually tune you out after you say 'Hello.' simply because they assume the next words out of your mouth will be the instructions to Telnet configure a Cisco Router. Therefore, if you want to impress anyone you to have to work twice as hard as "normal" people because you need to capture their attention at some point within the conversation. 

It is with this in mind that the Two Computer Geeks, collectively known as Chris & Paul, have taken it upon themselves to teach other people how to recapture the attention of anyone in any conversation. We have discovered after long and repeated experimentation, that a great way of accomplishing this goal, is to use infrequently used, but familiar words in liberal doses in any conversation. While not everyone will understand what you mean at that moment, we can guarantee that everyone will hear what you say, remember you and in most cases they will then go home and look up your more interesting words just so they don't look stupid the next time they run into you. 

The best benefit of this project, should you decide to take it on, will be to see and hear your colleagues try to use these words and phrases in their own conversations after they have heard them from you. First of all, this should provide a big boost to your ego, and besides, it is funny to hear someone use a word incorrectly. 

WARNING:

If you hear a colleague or a girl you are trying to impress using one of the words incorrectly, 
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CORRECT THEM!
It will irritate them and prevent you from achieving your ultimate goal.

 

 

   Word Usage
1)   banter I could get a lot more done around here if there wasn't so much witty banter going on between payroll and accounts payable.
2) frumpy When Paul's shirt and slacks don't match he feels frumpy.
3)   pithily The judge at the car show was very arrogant as he pithily pointed out every flaw in my car.
4) specificity The level of specificity used in the instruction booklet left a lot to be desired.
5)   bloviate The employees sneered, knowing that today was Monday which meant they had to listen to Paul bloviate in their weekly meeting.
6) cacophony Your mouth is creating such a cacophony, I can't hear what you are saying!
7)   wizened The employees' brains had been wizened by the constant and repetitive meetings.
8) anathema The weeds in my yard are growing so fast and my opportunities to mow have been so limited, that my yard has become an anathema to my neighbors.
9)   thwarted Chris was thwarted in his attempt to remove his 'Mom' tattoo from his chest before he got married. 
10) ersatz Back in college, we could only enjoy ersatz pizza and beer.
11)   lugubrious After his latest book deal fell through, you could see the disappointment on his lugubrious face.
12) innocuous Chris's innocuous comments regarding personal computers were pithy, but in the end were useless banter.
13)   bespoke The software designer considered himself comparable to a bespoke tailor on Saville Row, but in reality he was more like a shade-tree mechanic in Roosterpoot, Idaho.
 

 

Remember to laugh a little each day!

 

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This is an on-going project with the long-term goal of collecting as many unique and interesting words as possible.
Please pass this link along to your friends and relatives and help us help everyone!

 

(c) 2006, Two Computer Geeks
Last Update: Thursday, July 26, 2007